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What Alzheimer's Hasn’t Yet Taken From my Grandmother

This weekend I visited my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's. The visit was hard and beautiful. She remembered me, but not as an adult. She didn’t remember my name. She remembered me as a little kid, and thought I had grown a lot. Even though her memory was not all there, her kindness, her mannerisms, favorite sayings, and best of all her love all still were.

It was beautiful to see her smile at my mother and me. She may not always remember who we are, but her inner soul tells her that we are hers and that she loves us. As things progress I am going to remember that. Part of me will always believe that, no matter how bad it gets, she will know that we are of her.

My grandparents have been married for over 6o years and they have had more good times than bad. It is tempting to say this desease is all bad, but it isn’t there are still some good times within it. Like the game of Crokinole we played for two hours that had us all laughing.

My grandfather spends most of his waking hours with my grandmother, making sure she is cared for and loved. You can plainly see that they both love each other deeply. You can see how much she still needs him, and how much he still needs her. That is a beautiful thing to watch. I hope I am still that in love with my husband when we are old.

As hard as it was to visit my grandmother and see her robbed of her memory it was worth it. I got to feel her love again for the first time in a long time, and I know she felt mine. I will hold that love inside me for the rest of my life and send mine over the many miles to her.

Written by

VP of R&D at Arctic Wolf Networks - I write about Women In Tech, Cyber Security, and my journey recovering from an eating disorder.

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